Disappointing

Let it be known, when you are on a stupid fucking diet, you do not go and eat at Caddalic Bar, Buffalo Wild Wings, T.G.I.F., or Woodrows. It makes perfect sense for Lloyd and Mike D to stay at home, eat iceburg lettuce, drink water, and do jumping jacks until this birdbrained bet ends. But not them, not these guys. These fucking guys hang out at all the super hip, super greasy parts of town, stuffing their faces while blabbing about how they are not eating the food at the places they visit. Then why fucking go? Don't give your team members the same 'ol shit, "but all I had was vodka and water and celery sticks." It doesn't matter, they don't want to hear it. You are letting your teams down and you fucking know it.

A lot of people are starting to get really pissed. You've asked for their support, they gave it to you, and now your reckless behavior is becoming a concern. Go ahead, lie to yourself and your team. Tell yourself that it's just fine if you just gobble up that last quesadilla. Wolf down that last fried green bean. Wash it down with a "light" beer, who fucking cares? You obviously don't. Diet? Sounds like you can eat what you want, pathetic.

Have fun this weekend eating your 96 oz. steak, losers.



Nothing inspiring about today, very disappointing.

Never Show Your Hand

The gloves are beginning to coming off. As of late yesterday, Team Gasdia and Team Mike D have officially disclosed confidential information on their progress of Shed the Weight '08. Dumb asses. Team Mike D must have felt the pressure after Team Gasida's foolish move. It also seems that Mr. Dumoit is stepping up the showboating.

"I don't know how many more pounds I can lose." - Mike Dumoit

Peer pressure at it's best, one sucker after another.

Nevermind that. The two teams have begun a powerful form of psychological warfare. Both claim they are telling the truth. Fucking liars. It is important to realize that whomever is in the lead now is obviously vulnerable and possibly lying. After full disclosure, Lloyd's feathers must have been ruffled just a bit, Mr. Dumoit seems to be in the unofficial lead. However, It is much easier going forward knowing where your opponent stands in this stupid competition. There will be an impulse to sit back, eat a fucking roast beef sandwich with pickles and watch Judge Judy. During this mini-victory phase, your opponent will have the luxury of gaining momentum without notice. When you least expect it, New Years Eve rolls around and then whack, you get blindsided with a sledgehammer to the face. Loser!

Team Mike D is clearly in the lead on a 2-to-1 ratio by 5.5 pounds about halfway through. Somebody is about to get fucked. Keep your composure, do not falter, and just remember, winner takes it all.

Reckless

With a slight, unforgivable hiatus on updates, it seems that one team refuses to take a breather. In a bold, fucktarded move, Team Gasdia has ceremoniously shown their hand in the competition, with 28 days to go. What the fuck is that shit? This changes the sediment of the whole wager. It would have been clever to down play your fucking progress, sheltering the upper hand from your opponent. Fuck that. Not Mr. Lloyd Gasdia, undoubtedly a barbarian in his own right.

That's right, 221.6 lbs. after about a month into the competition. Intimidation at its best with a net loss of 18.5 lbs.

"There's no wall in sight on my end, you're going to need every ounce - I'm bringing it and I'm bringing it double, bitches." - Lloyd Gasdia

Pay attention Team Mike D, Lloyd is boasting and posting his progress, will you? Despite stuffing your fucking face with blackened tilapia and shrimp, eating my queso, and munching on hushpuppies; you have a lot on your plate this week, literally. Do not let this image interfere with your sediment, you have the 2-to-1 advantage in this competion. From the latest reports, it seems as though you will begin training hard with your team leader, Mr. Jackson. With a plethora of Jiu Jitsu and boxing lined up, there is no reason you shouldn't be neck and neck with Team Gasdia with a little less than a month to go. Go get 'em tiger.

Jiu Jitsu, Kickboxing- the effort is the same. Train your hardest to defeat Tong Po, or Lloyd Gasdia, whomever comes first.

UPDATE I: In an unforseen move, Team Mike D... whether they like it or not, has disclosed their weight as of today. With a total loss of roughly twelve pounds, it clearly reveals their lead and accomplishments over the past few weeks. Team Gasdia, you better wake the fuck up. With a brazen attitude and audacious rhetoric, you may have overlooked your opponent's progress. No longer can you sit on your ass, eating rice cakes and spinach salads expecting a win. It is the hard numbers that will eventually call this bet.

Tensions Mount

There have been multiple emails and phone calls in the complaint department the past twelve hours or so. It seems that posting a picture of Mike D's belly before posting a picture of his opponent, Mr. Gasdia, is a lopsided way of doing business, almost extortionate. The consternation between the two teams is apparent. Considering we have viewers from around the world, we would like to make everyone happy. I'm sure the people in Bat Yam, Tel Aviv; Pangkor, Malaysia; Kaskinen, Finland; and of all places Howell, Michigan would agree. You know who you are, Site Meter does not lie.

Now, before the picture is revealed we must examine the fucking story behind this pathetic commitment to Mr. Gasida's obligation. I would assume that everyone knows that Zapp's Cajun Dill Gator-Tators are nearly irresistible. They are tastier, crunchier and even cholesterol free. However, does that mean you have to fucking sleep with them? No. But what we have here is a man sleeping on the fucking job, literally. Those chips are so damn good that he took them home that night and went to bed with them. While Team Gasdia is known to have the dedication of a freight train, this picture exposes a vulnerability that has gone unnoticed, until now. Team Mike D, observe, it appears that Gator-Tators are a form of Kryptonite.

BEHOLD!!!

EMERGENCY UPDATE I: It looks like Team Gasdia had a deceitful plan over the Thanksgiving holiday persuading Sara LeBlanc a.k.a. Mystery Sponsor, to overfeed and coerce his opponent, Mike D to consume mass quantities of casserole. Now, if you are too retarded to remember from last night, Sara is Mike D's cousin. This is blood vs. blood, not even a sanctuary from your own fucking family. You will be ambushed. If you guys were smart, you won't even talk to your parents for the next 34 days.

A Case of the Mondays

It just wouldn't be a good start to the week unless you started it with a good diet joke and a picture of Mike D's belly. Now, we do not yet know if the Mike D belly sighting is pre-turkey, or post-turkey but regardless of the time frame, the picture in itself is astonishing. You have been forewarned, this picture is alarming. However, you'd be a fool not to figure out that one of the reasons this stupid site is up and running is because of his growing belly.

BEHOLD!!!

This joke is to make you slightly chuckle, not laugh.

A guy calls a company and orders their five-day/ 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program, "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your mine." He lost 63 pounds that week.

Mondays are not for motivational videos. Let it be noted, Mondays are for remembrance on your idiotic mistakes, decisions, and the overestimations you have made throughout the weekend.

UPDATE I: Lloyd has secretly changed his goal for the competition. Details cannot be divulged.

UPDATE II: Lloyd's mystery sponsor has finally come out and revealed herself. It is Mike D's cousin, Sara LeBlanc! This has officially turned into a battle against blood. Some would say, similar to the Civil War, the deadliest in American history. Developing...

No Excuse

If you are shopping with grandma this fine Black Friday morning, your chances to victory are slim to none. Without a doubt, the Friday after Thanksgiving is the consequential time to stuff your fucking face multiple times throughout the day. A plethora of Turkey sandwiches and college football, naturally. The fixins'? White bread, spread with mayo, dark meat, and pickles will consume this day. However, not you. You understand that the Thanksgiving holiday is one day, not two. It is essential that you maintain discipline.

In your team's best interest, you must work out tougher than a steel town girl on a Saturday night.



UPDATE I:

Anonymous: what did you have for dinner?
Lloyd: a little here and there.
Anonymous: what does that mean?
Lloyd: just that, and I had no dessert.
Anonymous: oh.

UPDATE II:

Anonymous: what did you have for dinner?
Mike D: I fucked up.
Anonymous: what does that mean?
Mike D: I ate a ton.
Anonymous: oh.

Day of Reckoning

Thanksgiving Day will exhaust the weak at heart. The urge to drink yourself into a stupor with some Chivas, watch football, and stuff your fucking face with a greasy turkey leg is potent. You will be enticed to devour Butter Ball turkeys smothered in gravy, stuffing, and a side of sweet potatoes with Land O' Lakes butter on top. Furthermore, how could you forget some good ol' pumpkin pie?

The courage it takes to maintain the regiment of Team Mike D and Team Gasdia's diet on a day like today is immeasurable.

Without further ado, we give you inspiration for today.